Life Lately: Just Don't Know What to Do
I am thinking of not blogging anymore because there is no urge for me to do it anymore unlike before where creativity just flows naturally. Maybe it has something to do with my work schedule or my lifestyle and I think I am lacking of balance lately.
It feels like I want to do so many things but time is not enough for all of those. I mean I work for 9 hours and still work out after shift, the rest is for my sleep then repeat it for 5 days and during my day off, I just find myself sleeping if not, watching movies or TV series. I want to go out but time is not really enough so does my energy. Is this sign of aging? Funny I know but I really don't know what to do anymore.
Life lately for me was like living with deadlines. These past few weeks, there are things I needed to accomplish in just a matter of days like errands I need to finish. It happens in and out of the office and those things are what I hate the most. I hate schedules, deadlines and expectations. They just drained everything in me.
The thought of leaving my blog is kind of harsh for myself because I have been doing this for so long now and the fact that I grew when it comes to publishing something about my life is kind of fulfilling already and I guess I achieved small things like getting small time clients, sponsors and invites are pluses for small time blogger like me. Quitting is not an option. I might be on a hiatus for a week or two or longer than that but I won't stop for good.
This blog is my life. So I can say what I want to say. Post whatever I want and will not entertain cyber bullies. The day I started my gym diaries, I got bunch of hate-comments and somehow, it affects myself without even noticing it. Then I stopped posting about it anymore scared of what people think or say. I mean my friends read my blog sometimes (stupid me for sharing my blog's link) and I am afraid what are they going to say if I post something weird or something that raise the red flag.
But today, I just realize that this is my blog, my diary, my life. I pay for its domain and there is no holding back. If I blog something that does not appeal to you. Well it's not my fault anymore.
I am not saying that I will post some stupid or careless entries here. I know what is wrong and right so don't get me wrong. If I want to post my ugly selfie, then I don't care what people say or think.
I think this is one of the best things about personal blogging. It's like an outlet for me to release all the negative things in my mind like throwing them all up in a trash bin. I kind of feel better now.